Monday, March 22, 2010

That Unreliable Tooth Fairy



Years ago when my daughter Tevia, the oldest of our two kids, began losing her first baby teeth it was so fun to play the part of the tooth fairy. I loved sneaking in her room when she was asleep to place a dollar in exchange for her little tooth. What I loved even more than that was the sense of wonder the next morning as she pondered what the tooth fairy looked like and how the tooth fairy got in her room. But as she got older and began to lose more teeth, the tooth fairy didn’t seem to be nearly as trustworthy, sometimes showing up days after the tooth was placed under the pillow. Eventually the tooth fairy’s lack of consistency finally confirmed what my daughter had begun to expect—the tooth fairy wasn’t real.

These days my son Ezra is just starting to lose his first baby teeth and so here we go again. But unlike with my daughter the tooth fairy has already got off to a bad start. When Ezra lost his first tooth it just happened to be on an evening when there was no cash in the house. It took the tooth fairy 2 days to get the money to him on that first tooth. Then his most recent tooth somehow slipped by the tooth-fairy which meant that it took 3 days before the tooth fairy was able to drop a dollar under his pillow.

This whole tooth-fairy thing is a mess lately but I just can’t let myself drop it… no yet at least. I feel compelled to keep trying as if I can maybe salvage some bit of magic in it while Ezra is still at that wonderful age where magical thinking is still common. Unfortunately my salvage efforts have come off more as one trying to make excuses for some deadbeat relative that keeps telling us their coming for the holidays with presents in hand only to cancel at the last minute each time.

Here are some of my excuses:
1. There must have been a whole lot of kids in the world who lost teeth the last few days. She will probably be here in another day or two.
2. Son, there’s this thing we call the recession and times are tough right now. The tooth fairy is probably having to cut back on hours and the amount of fairy’s she employs but she’ll be here any day.
3. The tooth fairy didn’t come because you were grounded last night (actually Ezra asked if this was why the tooth fairy didn’t come and well, I couldn’t pass it up.)
4. The tooth fairy didn’t leave any money because you slept in a sleeping bag on the floor and she normally finds the tooth under the pillow on your bed.
5. We forgot to send the tooth fairy a “change of address” when we moved to our new house.
6. The tooth fairy caught that cold that’s been going around but she should be better any day now.

I could sure use some more help on this one if any of you have any other great excuses that have come in handy before.

2 comments:

Pi Man said...

Too(th) funny! How about these? 1) She could tell you hadn't been brushing very well.... 2) Teeth that come out after 5 pm (or 6 or 7, etc.) don't get their money until the next business day (or weekend day). 3) She only had large bills and had to go back for the exact change. 4) Her wing fell off and so she couldn't fly. And it always takes 1 (or 2 or 3) days to grow a new one. 5) Maybe she left the money in MY wallet by mistake b/c she couldn't get into your room (or couldn't find you, etc.) 6) On some days that end in a "y" she doesn't come in to work (hey, it's in the contract). 6) One of you write a short and funny IOU note and put it somewhere where the child can find it quickly. 8^) TA

Crispin Schroeder said...

Tim, I guess I should have called you up for some excuses. You have a real knack for coming up with them.