Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Oh, Did I Mention… Love?

In the last post I talked about how the fundamentals of a relationship provide sort of an infrastructure and fuel for spontaneity and how if the fundamentals are not respected in everyday life that any spontaneity in a relationship will be hollow.  I do want to add one more thing – LOVE. 

I want to use the music analogy a bit more to illustrate something...  
I love music.  I love playing music.  I love writing songs.  I love doing gigs with others.  I love listening to music whether it’s a street musician, a club, a festival or even on my Ipod. When I was a teenager I just knew that all I wanted to do in life was play music.  This love of music affected the way that I lived my life.  It meant that while other folks were playing sports I was playing music (which is why you don’t even want to see me try and play basketball of football).  This meant that I wasn’t too concerned with getting a sportscar because that was not practical for caring music equipment and instruments.  My car purchases over the years have not been sexy ones but they have always been able to carry equipment. 

I say all this to make the point that discipline without love is simply destined for monotony.  Discipline needs to flow out of love and in turn love will flow out of discipline.  But it’s got to be in that order. 

There is a passage in the last book of the Bible where Jesus encourages the church to remember her first love.  Great words for the church and great words for marriage.  Take a few minutes and remember your love for your spouse.  Remind yourself why you are his/her biggest fan.  Don’t let the routines of life distract you from that.  And let that be the compelling vision for practicing the fundamentals.  


Modiste1000 said...

Crispin, these are also extremely helpful words for ppl (like me) who are living in intentional community. Remember the first love! And let discipline flow out of love.

Phew, that's hard. I'll work on it.

Thank you!

Carlos said...

So true. Thanks for the thoughts.

Pi Man said...

Well said, Bro. When that circle is indistinguishable, i.e., discipline-love, then you can show the love even if you don't feel like it, and I'm not trying to be trite. My wife shows me love even when I've been a butt-hole. And all that does is make me love her more. And vice-versa. 8^) Not bad advice for us to each other in "the Family" as well, wouldn't you agree? Peace. TA